When Positivity Becomes a Trap

Just Saying & Other Musings

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5/22/2025 0 Comments

When Positivity Becomes a Trap

We’ve all heard it — just think positive! And while that can be helpful in certain moments, there’s a big difference between healthy optimism and bypassing your actual feelings.
I've been watching this for a long time: people trying so hard to stay upbeat, thinking that if they just “focus on the good,” everything will change. Then when it doesn’t, they feel like they’ve failed. They blame themselves for “not being positive enough,” when really — they just haven’t been given the full picture.
That’s what toxic positivity does. It teaches people to smile through the pain, bury the uncomfortable stuff, and pretend it’s all fine. But here's the truth: if you don’t deal with what's really going on under the surface, you're not manifesting — you're avoiding.

Why It Doesn’t Work
Toxic positivity sounds like it’s helping, but it quietly makes things worse. Here’s how:

It shames real emotions. You end up thinking there’s something wrong with you for feeling grief, anger, fear, or frustration.
It triggers guilt. When you're not feeling “high vibe,” you start believing you’re sabotaging your own healing.
It shuts down growth. We don’t heal by ignoring pain — we heal by acknowledging it, processing it, and learning from it.

How to Spot It
Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between real support and well-meaning bypassing. A few signs of toxic positivity:
Dismissing your own or others’ pain with spiritual slogans or motivational quotes.
Feeling like you have to hide your sadness or anger to be “good.”
Avoiding uncomfortable emotions instead of working through them.
Shaming others (or yourself) for not bouncing back quickly enough.

Choose Something Deeper
Positivity has its place — but not at the expense of truth. The real work is in learning how to hold space for all of it: the light and the shadow, the joy and the grief, the clarity and the confusion.
When coaching or healing work supports this balance, transformation becomes real. You get to feel, not fake. You get to heal, not hustle for happiness.
So if you're feeling stuck, heavy, or secretly ashamed that your “positive mindset” isn’t working — I want you to know this:
You're not doing it wrong.
You're being called to go deeper.

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Author

I’ve been on the consciousness trail since the mid-80s — back when healing work was still underground and spiritual growth didn’t have hashtags. My journey began in British Columbia, guided by traditional Elders and Knowledge Keepers whose teachings continue to shape everything I do. In those early years, I immersed myself in practices like Rebirthing, Primal Scream Therapy, and Bio-Energetics — long before Reiki and energy healing became mainstream. Each step peeled back layers, revealing not just what needed healing in myself, but what I was here to offer others. Later, in Tucson, Arizona, I became a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Meditation Teacher, and Neuro Emotional Release (NER) practitioner. I also worked extensively with individuals transitioning out of sober living, helping them re-enter society with self-trust and emotional resilience. This blog is where I share what I’ve learned — and what I’m still learning. You’ll find thoughts on metaphysics, spiritual growth, emotional healing, and sometimes even politics — because everything is connected when it comes to transformation. I write from experience, from curiosity, and from a place of service. If there’s a topic you’re longing to explore, drop me a note. This space is for all of us walking the path.

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Just Saying & Other Musings